Who’s afraid of sex?

I read in Baby Center website that a preggie lady may feel a stronger urge for sex in the 2nd or 3rd trimester, and this is perfectly ok as long as the position is safe for baby. Unfortunately there’re husbands out there who are afraid of hurting the baby and don’t want to attempt sex with their spouses. Honestly they could have consulted their doctors and get the go-ahead, instead of making the poor wives suffer.

My friend told me that closer to labor, the gynae will check for dilation in the preggie lady. She was told by others who been through it that it was done by putting in the fist into the cervix. Apparently it was pretty painful and might cause slight bleeding. Now, is there a fine line between a medical procedure and a sexual act or what? I told my friend about ‘fisting’, and turned out she never heard of it before. She was pretty tickled at the thought of me telling our gynae, Loh, that when he is about to perform the procedure on me. Loh will likely end up blushing big time and loss for words.

There was once when I met him for a routine consultation at the private suite at KKH. As I got up preparing to leave, I told him, “you know, you should do something about the room used by the men to produce semen for ovary fertilization. It’s so clinical, you wouldn’t even wanna have sex in there!” (During ovary extraction for fresh cycle, the husband either has to produce the semen at home or at the IVF center on the morning of the extraction, so that the embryologist can then fertilize the ovary with the sperm as soon as possible.)

My husband had griped that the room was so clinical and claustrophobic, enough to make the balls shrink. Worst of all, there was no sexy magazines to assist in the job since this is a government hospital. I did check out the room once and found the magazines available were either fashion mag like Female or parenting mag like Parent and Child. (WTH!) The staff hung up a few pictures, which I presume they deem as sexy, on the wall. They were one showing a couple lying on a beach kissing, while fully clothed, and another one showing a woman in an attempted sexy pose. Seriously if this is the 15th century, yeah people will be titillated. But we’re in the 21st century, even soft porn doesn’t work on everybody.

Anyway Loh laughed in embarrassment, stuck out his tongue and said, “You’re not supposed to have sex in there. Do you know we call that room ‘Mastubatory room’?” Well, it doesn’t matter what you call it, you’ve to make it conducive for the men to do their important job. Honestly, being a man he should at least have some ideas what will get a guy to do it.

Last Friday is our last childbirth education class, and we learned about breast feeding. It was information overload for me and I hardly took down any notes, but it was a very useful session. The instructor showed video of breast feeding and breast massage to loosen the milk ducts (which prevent mastitis), and other things to take note of such as expressing milk for storage. The video and pictures were explicit, but they were portrayed in a clinical and instructional manner. Nothing erotic to the men, at least not for my husband. Instead he was turn off at the sight of engorged breasts and those that got scald by hot compress. He’s better be more sympathetic to me if I suffer from those malaise.

The instructor strongly encouraged the expectant moms to breast feed as much as possible because of the numerous benefits, like breast milk being the best food for babies and breast feeding helps the mom to regain pre-pregnancy weight. So instead of the 6 months of exclusive breast feeding I had in mind initially, I’m planning to do it for at least a year.

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